Tuesday, January 13, 2015

I have a will for survival

Happy 2015 blog! Has it really been 7 months since I last updated?! Oh how time flies!

Let's see... there hasn't especially been a whole lot to fill everyone in on up until much more recently. That's probably why I've been so quiet leading up to this point. My biggest news concerning my health is that I had my most recent check up with my oncologist back in November, and he then had me go for my yearly PET/CT scan.

Major bruising from vein infiltration from the IV... ahh, fun times!

I went for my scan, and well, good news first -- there was no sign of metastatic disease!

The less good news -- they found an ovarian cyst about 3.4cm on my left side.

He put in an authorization for me to have an ultrasound done to rule out it being cancerous. I went and had that exam in December. When I heard back from my doctor, I didn't really get a solid answer one way or another. I didn't get an "oh, it's a typical, benign looking cyst" or "it's suspicious, we need to check it out immediately".

The radiologist who read my images just thought I should have the exam repeated in 4-6 weeks to see what's going on. One thing positive is that on the PET it showed as being 3.4cm, and my ultrasound showed it being 2.9cm. It had shrunk a bit.

However, it was not a simple cyst. Instead, the docs were thinking more likely a complex hemorrhagic cyst. Fancy-talk for a blood filled cyst. Gross, I know.

So upon their recommendation for me to have the repeat done in 4-6 weeks, which I did the first week of January. The results from that were that the cyst on my left ovary had resolved! Woohoo! BUT, I now have a small cyst on my right ovary. Argh.

With the left ovarian cyst, I had been quietly having pain on the left side of my pelvis for a few months, actually. I didn't even think much about it. Figured it was weird period-related junk. I mean, women are freaking complicated, what with all our crazy reproductive organs and what not! lol

And as a matter of fact, I think the way that cyst "resolved" was by rupturing. Several weekends ago, I had some intense pain and breakthough bleeding. Ended in a couple days, but I was nervous about it. 

So now, I'll hope and pray this new cyst is no big deal and resolves on its own as well. Just have to wait and trust our Lord once again. :3

So in non-health related Anj-news, since I have settled nicely into my lovely little office job, I made the plunge into being an owner of vivid, colorful hair. I had been wanting to do dye it violet/purple for years and there's nothing like facing your mortality to make you realize, "why the heck not??".

Yours truly during the nearly 6 month duration of my violet-hair.

Of course, it may seem silly for a lady in her late twenties to do such a thing, but you know something? I don't care! I've always wanted crazy hair and most recently I had wanted beautiful purple hair, so why not? I totally know I have a problem with repeating myself, but cancer changes your world. It changed mine for the better in most ways. Things I would be too timid or frightened to do before, I say to hell with it and do it anyway! 

I mean, God's got this anyway. My life was never fully in MY control to begin with, so why not live as happily as I can while I have life left to live? You learn so many things along the way when you have this outlook. 

Now, does this mean I would be willing to duck into a just any back alley, weirdo ethnic restaurant and eat the strangest item on the menu? Pfft, noway, I'm not THAT adventurous. However, I would be willing to do it if I thought it might make me happy. :) 

One of the other lessons I have learned is that the more I don't give an eff what random other people think of me (and focus only on my happiness and my love ones' opinions are) the sweeter life is.

So as 2015 came up to greet us, I decided to change my hair again for this brand new year. I now have a two-tone kinda thing going on. I was going for white in my bangs, black the rest... it didn't quite turn out as anticipated because my hair is a stubborn jerk. But, it still turned out pretty awesome if I do say so.

So, it is an ongoing battle to make myself feel beautiful after losing what is considered such a vital component of a woman's beauty, so I'll do what I can to convince myself of my beauty. I will say though, that my chest is looking the best it has since it has post mastectomy. If and when I am ever able to scrounge up the funds to get a tattoo either covering my scars or at least near it, then I think I can be pretty content with it all.

I had been saving a Victoria's Secret gift card that was a gift from my parents for my birthday in 2012. They got it for me with the intention that I could purchase some brand new brassieres once I got my new foobies. A marvelous idea, really!

The problem is, I can't wear normal bras any more. I tried a few times... and they ride up or don't fit right in the front. My right side (which is my Barbie boob side), does not properly fill out a cup the way a normal breast does. That extra bit of skin makes all the difference, apparently.

So I have yet to go to a Nordstrom and get fitted by a specialist. I hear tell they even sell mastectomy bras! I do need to get my paws on some of those as I'm awfully tired of wearing my pseudo sports bras. Yeah they're comfy and stuff, but I want to feel like regular a lady, dang it!

As far as getting back in shape, Jason's new job has a fabulous discount on gym memberships so we went last Friday to get signed up. We were going to begin working out this past Monday, but I woke up with a pretty severe sinus infection. -_- If it's not one thing, it's another sometimes!

Ahhh well. I actually have a complementary personal trainer session that I've got scheduled for this Sunday morning. It was recommended to me so as to start out on the right path to recovering and improving my upper body strength, etc. So we'll see what she says, but I'm looking forward to it. 

I needs to get in shape because I am 100% going to be cosplaying as one of my favorite Walking Dead characters, Carol Peletier, to one or two conventions this year. ;) Yep, I'm that geeky that that's what motivates me. Haha! Hey, whatever works!

Besides, for anyone who may not watch TWD, she is a freaking amazing character. She has transformed the most over the seasons. She's a kick ass survivor, which I like to think is somewhat fitting. 

Oh! Another thing I don't want to forget mentioning before I wrap this post up; we made it to our Susan G. Komen Race for the Cure San Diego for the third year in a row. ^_^ Quite happy to have been able to be there! It's always such a fun and uplifting experience. I know I look forward to it each year. It's turned into such a fun annual family tradition.

Team Pwn Cancer 2014! My parents also came by to cheer us on and enjoy lunch altogether afterwards. <3 I already can't wait for the 2015 race!

That's all for now, m'blog! But, here's to a wonderful and blessed year ahead for us all! :)

"Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid of terrified because of them, for the Lord your God goes with you; He will never leave nor forsake you." Deuteronomy 31:6

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